


Perfect In My Eyes

by CreotiaFlayier



Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Deaf Character, Eventual shameless smut, Fluff and Angst, Freeform, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-04-12
Packaged: 2018-03-19 14:17:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3613104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CreotiaFlayier/pseuds/CreotiaFlayier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Relationships are complicated, especially with parents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Change Is Inevitable

**Author's Note:**

> This is dedicated to Cassy27, without her inspiration this idea would not have come to fruition. I own none of these characters, they are purely used for this imaginative work. Please forgive mistakes, this was posted having only been corrected one time. Sorry in advance for any errors. Read, review and enjoy!

The day started just like any other day for Steve; wake up, shower, eat and hope to high heaven that his mother did not bring up the same subject to cause the rift that had been created deepening further. Avoidance was the last tactic that he wanted utilize to prove his point. He just wished that he did not have to live up to expectations that came along with being a Rogers. He could just imagine the disappointment that was always on his mother's face; he never wanted to be like the rest of her family. Joining the ivy league tradition to become the same puppet that always answered to the signature behind their free ride.

He had been born sick and premature as a baby. His parents were thankful that he had survived being born almost two months early. He had been born with underdeveloped lungs and that had lead to his hearing being impacted as well. The side effects were irreversible for his ears but the doctors were able to help him breath for his lungs to develop. His mother went into shock and had postpartum depression, from which she never fully recovered her sense of reality beyond her control. Steve felt that he could only relate to his father when his mother allowed them to have time alone together. She felt that they were always conspiring and trying to have her committed again.

Most days he could deal with the disappointment that emanated off her every fiber. What was so wrong with him? How was he the cause of all her problems? He was never so glad to understand that he could never undergo the surgery for cochlear implants because of the underdeveloped sensors in his inner ear. He felt that he could never encompass his feelings in sign. The portrait he had painted of his father hung in his father's office at work.

He continued to think about all that ailed his existence in his family as he got out of bed and shut off his alarm so that he could start another day. He felt that he was counting the days until he found out the answer to his own questions. All of his emotions seemed to collect and fester within. The only element that seemed to listen and not try to help him rationalize was his ability to create art. The canvas never signed a response and never told him to pay attention to the words coming out of their mouth. He had received numerous requests to paint portraits that did nothing but build his portfolio and give him experience needed to enter art school.

He was close to graduation and the St Joseph's School for the Deaf was more than his safe haven away from home. He just could not wait to finish his last two semesters. Mundane was the only word that he could think of to summarize his life out of school. Usually the word described the life of a typical student in the opposite side of the spectrum. 

The brooding would continue until he knew that he had had enough and wanted a way out. His only way out was either to swallow his pride or continue with the secret that had been between him and his father. He knew that his mother's disappointment would only grow from there. He had to get away.

He slowly made his bed and followed his usual preparation for the day. He felt that it was more of a way of building his armor to ready his same answers to every question imaginable. He loved his mother, but he forgot when he started to resent the thought he had to love her.

As he was brushing his teeth in the attached bathroom with his bedroom, he felt the usual soft taps of his father. Knowing that he would make sure he could answer, Steve felt the presence of his father directly behind him so that he could read his lips.

“Have you sent your admissions paperwork to Pratt?,” he asked as Steve finished brushing his teeth to be able to respond.  


'Yes, I sent that out about a week ago,' he signed his reply. 'The application said that it could take more than seven business days.' His father knew just how impatient Steve could become. The only good trait he had learned from his mother was to be determined to get what he wanted.

“I'm sure you'll be admitted promptly based upon the selections you showed me on the disc you were including with the paperwork. Talent like yours is uncommon among the artists that have to reference everything they do,” his father encouraged.

'Do you really think so? Mom seems to think it is a dream that is not worth becoming reality,' Steve quoted directly from his mother based off of the numerous debates, that could hardly be called conversation.

“Steven, you know that she does mean well, but never learned to adjust passed the shock of your birth. I know how hard it has been for you. You have to learn to believe in yourself now or this chance at independence could slip through your fingers,” his father replied, hoping that this would convince he was good enough.

'Why are you the only one who wants me to be who I want to be? Mother says that the family tradition states Yale and no other school will be tolerated. Why?' Steve's movements and facial expressions conveyed nothing but hurt and frustration in one strangled mesh.

“That is the one thing I have been trying to get out of her and she seems to think that you can be fixed,” that was all he could ever get out of his father as he knew they both needed to leave soon. He just nodded his acceptance of his answer and continued getting dressed to start his day.

Breakfast always seemed to contribute to his mood throughout the day. If he had a decent conversation then he could say that his day would be alright. His mother had taken up to starting her day by asking if he had read any of the information about the cochlear implant. He knew that would be the end of his day before it began. After that, there never was any hope of salvaging his mood or his outlook.

As he made his way downstairs, he noticed that his father had started hanging his recent works. He knew that his mother would never know who that artist was, but she always had a place for the newest acquisition. It did nothing but warm his heart, maybe his mother knew or maybe his father just wanted some semblance of control and unity within their struggling family.

He made his way to the kitchen hoping to get passed his mom. As he made his way, the cook noticed him and smiled like always. She knew that he was the only one in the family to know how to take care of his own meal without burning or causing another casualty to another appliance. Of course it was not that they could not afford to replace them, but the thought about it happening every other month was beyond her.

Simple like always as he liked to head back to school after every break with just one simple omelet of ham and cheese. His trunk was packed for another semester before it was time for him to leave, he despised the idea of being home when he needed to be there. He preferred the distance even though the Bronx was not that far from their penthouse in Brooklyn. It was the thought of being near his mother longer than ever necessary.

As he was about to sit in the nook and eat his breakfast his mother entered the kitchen. He could tell by the look on her face the displeasure that he had not only made his food himself but was not eating with the family.

'Steven,' she signed his name sign angrily, 'why are you not eating with your father and I?'

'I just wanted to eat alone,' he signed his reply with exasperation. 'Is it too much to ask that I do not want to have the same debate every day?'

'Steven, you know that this for your own good. The speech therapist has been extremely upset that he has never had an opportunity to meet with you before the operation,' she replied with same controlled emotion as always.

'How many days and months do I have to put up with this insane idea. Have you not spoken to my primary physician!? I will never be able to have the operation,' he replied with a mixture of hurt and anger. His mother never seemed to understand. 

'No, I was never part of that conversation. Just what have you and your father been conspiring about me? Or is it...' she never got a chance to finish as Steve just stood up and walked out leaving his omelet half eaten on the table. She turned to follow, knowing that he was going to have to go through the dining room.

His father, knew that when she had not returned it was not a good thing. His suspicions were confirmed when he saw Steve trying to make a beeline for the stairs only to be cut off by his mother. Joseph knew that this was not going to end well as usual. He did the only thing he could think of, he swept her around and kissed her senseless knowing that always quelled her suspicions. As Steve walked by unnoticed by his mother, they winked at each other.

The rest of the day happened without event. Leaving Steve to stare at his latest composition on his easel. He knew that his daily conversation was going to happen soon with his cousin who had recently gone to MIT. Bruce, besides his father, was the only person who thought that Steve was not broken beyond repair. The canvas seemed to cry for more color, but Steve could not put his finger on what was missing from the picture. He looked over his shoulder and saw Bruce patiently waiting on his Skype.

As always Steve knew that he could be himself and not have to worry about judgmental attitude from the one person that would always understand. He saw that he now had a roommate. Steve felt uncomfortable at first, but knew that Bruce would always make time.

'What is the matter with perfection now,' Bruce signed with the biggest grin he could manage.

'You know, not enough color like always,' Steve signed his reply smiling for the first time that day. 'Mom almost got lost in her head again.'

'What happened this time,' Bruce knew that Steve was almost forcing his smile. The pained look in his eyes said it all. 'You know that Yale cannot surpass your genius.'

That got Steve to laugh, whenever Bruce got Steve to laugh he knew that he was building back up whatever had been broken down. His aunt Sarah was very sweet but when it came to Steve, he could never miss the switch that went off; however, when it happened, it was never subtle either, she would just hover and assume that he was doll that could easily be repaired with the right explanation. 

Steve's laugh was not a bark but it was deep and needed a little more practice. Bruce wished he could hear it more often because it was needed.

'I mailed my application to Pratt almost two weeks ago,' Steve signed barely containing the nerves and excitement. He could never feel one emotion at a time, it was always combined with what he should mask. 'It has been longer than the paperwork stated.'

'Steve, it is for all kinds of art. You have to remember, you're applying to the Julliard of art schools. Relax and take the time to finish your painting. You never answered my question,' Bruce always knew how to coax his answers out of Steve.

'She tried to schedule another speech therapy appointment. I tried to walk away and she nearly cut me off when I cut through the dining room,' Steve paused to smile. 'Dad desperately wanted to eat in peace before work and silenced her like usual.'

'He kissed her passionately leaving her blind to your escape,' Bruce signed while laughing like usual. 'One of these days she might catch on to that trick there.'

'Dad thinks that I am a shew in for acceptance,' Steve signed with uncertainty written all over his face. 'What will I do if I don't get accepted?'

'Steven Grant Rogers,' Bruce never spelled his name like that unless he was trying to make a point like always. 'Learn to have some pride in your work...'

Just as he was about to continue his confidence sh-peel, he heard the door open. He knew that Tony had just returned from his afternoon class. They somehow had managed to put two different engineers of a different kind together. Bruce knew it was because that they were both last minute applicants that were ushered in because of grade point average. Not everyday that a Stark wants to go to your school, and being related to his aunt Sarah was not that bad either.

“Brucie, I just met the cutest blonde.” Tony shouted as he slammed the door. Bruce knew that Tony was just going to give him a hard time about the Skype chat. He just figured that it was best to get it out of the way. He could do nothing but just count the steps and anticipate the look of shear awe on Tony's face at the enigma that was Bruce's guest.

Bruce still could not fathom the growth spurt that had happened in the last two years. Steve was now a clear 6'0” even. He could also tell that the blonde was still growing at the slight flood his pants had at the ankle. From skinny asthmatic to blonde Adonis, if only Steve could see what strangers saw when they first met him.

Tony was riding on cloud nine, he had met the cutest blonde in his physics class. Of course, the other had no clue that he was even interested. The game was to know all the answers and create a two person study group to ensure that he was the only one to get close enough; of course, the plan was not a plan whenever Tony decided to throw a party.

As he rounded to corner to their en-suite, he noticed the deepest blue eyes he had ever seen staring at him on Bruce's laptop. He had to stop because he expected the usual who are you not hand gestures and very expressive movements from Bruce toward himself. He noticed that Bruce was able to reply without hesitation. Intrigued, he completely forgot why he came to his dorm with such gusto.

'I take it that you have settled in due to your close relationship to your guest,' Steve chided, he thought that he should disconnect considering that it was almost time for dinner, but he had not seen Bruce in over a month since he left for MIT. The reason for leaving was still a secret to him.

'Steve that is my roommate Tony,' Bruce replied. 'Now stop avoiding the question okay. What happened between you and Aunt Sarah this time?'

Steve looked down at his hands. It was always the same, he could not live up to her expectations. He mustered as much courage as he could, but still could not keep telling Bruce he missed him; or that time was running out for what little patience he had left. 'She tried to get me to see a speech therapist again. The last time I saw my doctor, he said that when I was born the ear canal and ear drum were underdeveloped. Even having the surgery would not help because there is no connection between the nerves to my ears anyway,' Steve answered looking down when he finished.

'You know, you never had to look into having it done in the first place. I am still coming back to Brooklyn when I graduate so that we can get you away from your parents and on your own,' Bruce replied encouragingly.

'I know, but Dad would be by himself. I still have to apply at Yale so that mother stops...' Steve started to rant. He did love his mother, but the consistency of disappointment that radiated from her every pore made him want to try just a little to see if he could be perfect.

'Steven, that still would not help you with what you want. You know you want to stay in Brooklyn and go to Pratt,' Bruce scolded, his features hardening only slightly. 'Yale is not for you if you're not doing it for yourself. You said you went to see your physician, so how is your arrhythmia?'

'He had to change my medication because of the stress. My palpitations increased slightly and he did not want to have to operate if it is not necessary,' Steve replied feeling annoyed. 'Only Dad knows that it worsened just a little.'

During the exchange, Tony watched as the eyes stayed as expressive as he had ever seen. They changed from light to sky and back to ocean blue during the conversation. It must have been important, Bruce normally asked him what had gotten his panties in such a twist. It suddenly clicked, Bruce had mentioned one cousin that he thought of as a brother. The attention span of a gnat is how Tony could be described with how he could change from one subject to another. 

The fascination Tony kept that to himself while displayed patience not even Bruce knew he had. Hell, even he did not know that he could actually sit still. Those eyes, the underlying sadness and pain hidden within them drew him in. Tony had to get to know him.

“Hey Bruce, I really don't want to interrupt, but could you introduce me,” Tony hazarded carefully because he knew himself well. He may say something to over-step his welcome.

“Sure Tony, come sit next to me,” Bruce replied having only moved slightly away, making sure that the person on the other end could see his mouth. Tony heard Bruce speak and move his hands at the same time. “Steve, I would like for you to meet my roommate, Tony. Tony this is my cousin, Steve. I told you about him." 

'This is the roommate that keeps you up till you slip him some of your sleeping pills.' Steve joked with the biggest grin he had had all day. His laugh was deep and unused, but somehow sent shivers down Tony's spine.

“Steve, what have I told you about that,” Bruce replied with only the slightest blush. “Tony cannot help that he is undiagnosed with his ADHD.”

“Okay,” Tony replied indignantly. “Bruce, how do I talk to him or say anything.” Tony made sure to mimic Bruce and ensure that his cousin, Steve, could see his mouth. Repeating his usual tactic, Bruce replied with speech and the same gestures.

“All you have to do is make sure that you look at the screen and just talk to me like I would talk to you,” Bruce explained.

“Steve, it's a pleasure to finally meet you,” Tony stated cautiously. “What do you do when you're not pestering this gentle giant?”

Steve signed his reply with only the slightest twinkle in his eye. Explaining that he was still in high school and loved to do any every kind of art that he could get his hands on. He knew that Bruce would translate, but it was getting late and he did not want to disconnect. Dinner with the family was going to be another instance that he may need to take his medication afterward.

“I am still in high school at the moment, but I hope to attend college in the Summer. Right now I am finishing my latest project. I basically do all kinds of art, including computer work,” Bruce translated for Tony. “I have to disconnect now my mind says keep going but the stomach says sustenance comes first.”

Steve waived goodbye and turned off his computer. He then turned to his landscape that was going to be entered at the next art competition. The dragon that was breathing fire on the ground below flew with only the basic color of grey. He was still unsure of what color to mix. He glanced at his watch and decided to make the necessary trek.

As he made his way to the dining room, he could see his father pacing exasperatedly. They were discussing him again. The pacing only happened when it was his mother pushing for the operation or his donation to get Steve into Yale. Steve decided to watch and see where it went, knowing it was just going to upset him and cause more problems with his complicated heart. 

“I will not force him to do any more repression of himself Sarah,” Joseph repeated to her trying his hardest to convey his feelings for her and for Steve. “Has he not heard enough about what can never be.”

“Joseph, it can happen. There is a specialist who has said that he could take a look at Steven and try to complete the operation after he has done an analysis of his hearing. Don't you see, this could make it easier for him when he becomes a lawyer,” Sarah stated refusing to acknowledge his argument.

“Have you asked him, he is of the legal age to decide for himself if he wants to do this,” Joseph stated. Of all the cases he has represented, his wife was always the losing battle. He loved her to the end of the earth, but he would not let her do this their son. “The same doctor that he has had since he was a baby has said that it can never happen. Don't you think that he would not have reached out to this so called specialist.”

Steve decided that the had seen enough. He decided that he was hungry and went to the table and clanged his glass like always. He could already feel the erratic beating of his heart. It was not enough to leave but he needed to calm down.

'What are we having, the same as always, sarcasm and soup,' Steve gestured wildly with the most frustration he had had all night. He kept telling himself tomorrow he would be back at St Joseph's until Thanksgiving and then Christmas.

'Steven, you know better than to add to the situation as usual,' his mother scolded.

'No, do tell me what I always do,' Steve answered fed up with where it always went. 'All I want to do right now is eat and finish my project.'

'You know that sarcasm will not work,' she replied, her posture and expressions not hinting at what she was really feeling. 'Joseph, help me here. He's your son.'

That last line struck a nerve in all of them, including the help listening. They all knew that Steve was a gem to have. He never acted out like he could, or more importantly should. Steve's composure held though he could feel the slightest pressure in his chest. 

As the food was served he refused to answer his mother. She knew that he was just upset and would soon reply like he should. She tried again to inform him of an appointment that would just delay his start of his senior semester and he would not have that. He was determined to leave when he wanted to.

It was at that moment that the cook, Darcy, decided to bring him what he had been impatiently waiting for. She had purposely withheld it when the post was delivered. She knew the distraction would allow Steve a chance to escape. It was then that she noticed that Steve was getting nervous, he was close to needing his medication. He only needed to take it when he was extremely stressed.

“Darcy, what do you have there?,” Joseph announced attempting to change the subject as he signed while he spoke.

“It's something that came in the mail for Steven,” she replied as she handed Steve the letter.

“Now, don't get up yet Steven,” his mother announced over everyone. “You're not finished with your meal. Plus, you have not answered me yet.” At that, Steve had had enough, he slammed his hands on the table and pushed his chair back readying to leave. 

'You need to wake up, I will never be the perfect son you and your parents want me to be,' Steve was tired and stressed. He could feel his beating getting more erratic and he needed to leave. He was hurt and betrayed by the entire conversation. His face said everything he could not. 'I love you but I am not going to pretend I can hear so you can be right.'

He clutched his chest in an attempt to calm his beating heart. He could feel his control slipping from his grasp. He looked to his father for help, knowing that he was always going to save him. 

“Sarah, that's enough,” his father roared. He never in his years of being married to her had yelled at her. “Steven needs to finish his homework and you're stressing him too much. Now he needs to leave. Steven, you're excused. Go take your medication, quickly now.”

“Joseph,” Sarah uttered so quietly. She looked at Steve as he left, still clutching his chest. The only sign that she had out done herself with her pestering. “I am only doing what's best for him.”

“You're loving him too much, you need to let him go,” Joseph replied and gathered her in his arms. He knew that she wavered between reality and heartbreak. Knowing all the while all was well, she just needed to make up for not wanting him in her arms after he was just born. She would never admit that was why she pushed to the point of stressing Steven to his grave. They stayed like that for a little while longer. 

When the disaster known as their last night with Steve was almost over, Joseph attempted to talk to Steve about the letter. He quietly made his way to the room and noticed that Steve was still painting. The dragon was now the perfect shade of amethyst. Steve knew that was his mother's favorite color; yet, he would never admit that somehow he really wanted to please her.

Steve felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to address who was there. He was happy to see it was his father. The day had not been what he'd hoped. He still had not opened the letter he'd been given. He wanted to wait and see if they could read it together.

'So, are you ready to open the letter,' Joseph knew that it was from Pratt. He waited patiently while Steve's eyes lit and he lifted his fist to move up and down in the gesture for yes.

Slowly Steve opened it with a letter opener. The moment stood still and all hopes rested on this one chance to break away. He pulled out the neatly folded letter and began peruse the type. Slowly he shifted from nervous apprehension to uncontrolled pleasure. Steve handed the letter to his father and did not give away what the contents stated.

It was with a shaking hand that he accepted the letter from Steve. The opening was formal as expected, but the transition stated everything. The application had been not only accepted but Steve had been given a full scholarship just on the portfolio he had submitted along with the application. His SAT scores had been exceptional that they determined he would not need remedial courses to ensure he was beyond post high school with his studies. They stated that in way of fine art they were lacking, but they did have a production course of study that suited Steven's interest with computers.

Father and son could do nothing but stare. Steve had exceeded expectations and guaranteed himself a place not only close to home but far enough that his mother would not attempt to be suspicious. They embraced and stood there not wanting the moment to end soon.

As soon as Steve had disconnected, Tony could not believe his high had been squashed by those baby blues. Bruce's cousin was beyond an enigma that needed to be proven with science and calculations. No one was supposed to know sadness that rivaled what Tony had gone through with his father. 

“Bruce, do you mind telling me what your conversation was about,” Tony queried with great trepidation.

“Not really, but Steve will be coming and going as much as he can. He uh, he has trouble with his mother,” Bruce answered, not knowing how much he could or could not tell. He knew that Steve would be okay with what was shared. Steve had wanted to meet Tony ever since Bruce had started the fall semester. “He was born prematurely and almost died. He is as stubborn as they come. The one thing that he never tells anyone about is his heart arrhythmia. It was a lingering side affect of his birth.”

“Wow, um do you think it would be easier if you just taught me what you two were doing?,” Tony asked. Bruce could not contain his laughter. Not everyone could recognize sign language when they saw it. The over exaggeration of the expressions to convey the point or tell the story should have been a clue, but this was Tony. 

“It's called sign language Tony. Steve is profoundly deaf and was born without the ability to speak. He has been battling his mom about having to have an operation to reverse what cannot be reversed,” Bruce explained. It was this fact that had guided Bruce with his decision to go to MIT and see if he could find a way to fix abnormalities such as Steve's.

“So he is no longer deathly ill but could still die from over stressing himself because of his heart?,” Tony asked hoping that he had understood enough. “He seems cool enough to get to know.”

“Oh no,” Bruce said matter of factly. “Steve is not going to become a conquest. I know how you are with the people you think are 'cool' or 'interesting enough.' Tony, he has never had a relationship with anyone. Please don't do anything stupid.”

“Have some faith in me,” Tony replied with feigned indifference. He was somewhat hurt by Bruce telling him he could not try and date Steve, but that did not mean that he could not attempt it anyway. “He looks like he could use a friend. Besides, I have already claimed you as a house buddy for the holidays. Maybe we could kidnap him too?”

Bruce pondered the idea. Steve had been dreading his summer to come to an end and it might help him if he were to not go home for the holidays, but he was close to his father. That was one aspect he had not thought of. Could Steve stand to be away from his father?

“I'll ask him when I Skype with him tomorrow. We do this everyday. He is the most punctual person I know,” Bruce replied, hoping that Steve would want to spend time away from home for just a little while.


	2. One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same notes apply, I read it only once through. Please forgive errors and mistakes. Again, big thanks to Cassy27, check her out.

Bruce was sitting in the dorm room that he shared with Tony, it had not even more than a day. The only conversation that they had about school was if Bruce needed help with his biochemistry. Bruce could tell that Tony could not stop thinking about his cousin. Steve was an enigma, but the problem lay in convincing the youth that he was special outside his inability to hear the world around himself.

  
Life had not been hard and had not been easy, all at the same time. Steve was his only family that supported his decision to become a doctor and scientist. Bruce knew that in their family, it was mandatory they all go to Yale. Their families had been privately funding and supporting the university for a while. The illusion of tradition was something that Bruce and Steve did not want to fall victim to. The difference between Bruce and Steve was that Bruce was actually supported for breaking tradition. Steve was going to be shunned even more than he already was. Growing up was the most difficult thing that Bruce had witnessed.  His thoughts were soon interrupted by Tony groaning about the length of the latest paper he had to write. School was only getting more complex and it was the challenge that they were both looking for to know that success was around the corner.

  
“So, do you think we can take a break to plan our break?,” Tony queried with caution, knowing that Bruce might think he just wants to stop working. “ I think that maybe we should tell your cousin. Steve, right, I hope that's his name.”

  
“Wow, I cannot believe you were actually paying attention. Are you sure that you're feeling well,” Bruce answered while mock checking Tony's temperature, only to have his hand slapped away.

  
“Ha ha,” Tony replied. “I mean it, I could tell that your cousin needs to get away. Do you think that he would even want to come?”

  
“Knowing Steve, he would happily accept. He doesn't even bring his friends home from school. He mainly keeps to himself, pretty much. He feels that they would be subjected to his mother's scrutiny. It is really complicated and I feel that what I have said may have been too much,” Bruce pondered aloud. “He is very sensitive about certain things. I will tell you that he has wanted to meet you.”

  
“Really, he doesn't know me,” Tony replied, flattered beyond comprehension. Someone he had never met wanted to get to know him. “Do you think you could help me learn sign language? I kind of know how he feels and maybe I could help.”

  
“Okay, I will teach you sign language once we've finished our homework. It is not complicated to learn, but you do need to practice to retain. It is very simple and some signs are repeated, practice will keep you from getting confused,” Bruce agreed.

  
“Wow,” Tony stated, “he must really mean something to you.”

  
“Like I told you, he's the brother I never had. He would tell you the same thing about me,” Bruce explained. “Our mothers were close when they grew up. The family was well off, but when Aunt Sarah married Uncle Joseph it was quite the affair. Of course, nothing like your family or business, but close enough.”

  
“I just hope that I don't put my foot in my mouth,” Tony muttered, as they continued with their work. Bruce had finished and was now expecting his same Skype chat with Steve.

 

As Steve turned off his alarm, he woke with more alertness than yesterday. He knew that he was going back to his haven of rest. His last night home was not what he had expected it to be. School was the one thing he knew he excelled at. He made his way to the bathroom to gather his toiletries.

  
As he was finishing his packing of his small items, his mother entered his room. It was not usual for her to make sure he was ready for the day, but his father was still taking a shower. She never entered Steven's room without permission, but he did have a doctor's appointment that was going to make him at least two hours late.

  
Sarah could not believe the talent that he had when it came to painting, but she did feel that his intellect was wasted on such nonsense. The sooner he accepted that hobbies could not ensure the future of him or his family, the better in her mind. The narrow sight she used for the world had blinded her to the subtle details, mainly how he always found a way to incorporate her favorite color in his work.

  
She continued to make her way to the restroom, making sure that Steven was going to be ready when it was time to leave. Nothing was ever out of place, all of his clothes were already packed and he had made his bed the way he preferred it. She noticed that he was obsessive about his room, no one made his bed or even touched anything without his permission. As she entered, she noticed that he was looking at himself in the mirror, when he looked at her.

  
“Steven, are you ready?,” She asked sweetly while signing.

  
'Yes, I was just gathering my toiletries,' Steve replied. 'Where is father?'

  
“He woke up a little tired and decided to take a shower,” Sarah replied. “Now don't put on your uniform yet, you have appointment with your doctor. After my outburst your father decided to have you seen by your doctor before we take you back.”

  
'I already saw him,' Steve replied frustrated. 'I feel fine, the stress was nothing I couldn't handle.' He could already feel it flaring up again. He turned from his mother and clutched the sink taking deep breathes.

  
His mother noticed and rubbed soothing circles on his back. Something she had not done since he was sick with asthma as a kid. He relished the small interaction, hoping that she was in a good mood. It was probably a good thing that they were going to see his doctor. The beating of his heart was slowly becoming more erratic. He slowly felt his control coming back.

  
'Fine, I guess it wouldn't hurt to hear what he has to say,' Steve conceded. 'I need to get dressed if we have to be there soon. I don't want to be even more late than I need to be.'

  
“I will be waiting in foyer with your father when your ready,” his mother replied. She turned to leave without another word.

  
Steve was perplexed with confusion. She never enters, of course, his father being in the shower means that she does at least care. If it is misplaced kindness and love at times. What was so wrong with him being born different? His impairment had never been an inhibitor before.

  
Difference was something that he embraced. He never let his friends come over because they would be under that same judging stare and fake kindness. All that he could think of sometimes was how they would be purposely try to piss her off. It was this thought that made him cherish St. Joseph's even more, the small close-knit group he affiliated himself with. It was a way of life.

  
He saw the draw back to having an implant. He saw what it had done to his friend Bucky, it nearly caused him to go insane. Acclimating to having to hear and then learn to speak like you're a toddler all over again. Luckily Bucky was able to work through it, but Steve had never been more thankful to be of the small percentage that could have it done. He knew that he would not be strong enough to survive the stress because of his heart.

  
As he finished, he checked all of the places he could think of to ensure that he did not forget anything. He made sure that all of his drawers were empty and that his closet still had some clothes in case he came home for a weekend. All he could think about was telling Bruce about how his day had gone from amazing to walking stress ball. He then gathered his trunk and bags. He would have to come back for the canvas. It was is his most prized work at the moment.

  
“Steven, do have everything you need?,” Joseph asked, while signing.

  
'I just need to go back for the canvas I finished last night,' He replied.

  
“Hurry and get it, we're cutting the appointment close,” His father replied.

  
Steve turned and paused for a split second. He felt a stutter in his heart. He knew the pause was going to alarm his father. He tried to hurry, but he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see the concerned eyes of his father. He smiled at him trying to ensure that everything was okay for the moment.

  
“Go sit in the car with your mother,” Joseph assure him. “Your doctor will understand if we're a few minutes late.”

  
'I'm fine,' Steve tried to assure, only to have his father stare at him with stern eyes. 'Okay, it happened again this morning. Mom means well, but her presence doesn't help me anymore.'

  
“We'll get it sorted, I think the medication he changed on you is not helping,” Joseph stated. “Now go wait in the car.”

  
'Okay,' Steve replied, heading out to the awaiting vehicle.

  
Joseph was very concerned. The medication seemed to be enhancing his son's symptoms. Before the change, it had been almost two years since his son had had a stutter with the beat of his heart. It was the lack of symptoms that the doctor had changed it to a lesser medication, hoping that it was gradually going to go away. Sarah really did care, but did not want to listen about imperfections that could not be fixed without operation. Medication was something that was not only taboo, but frowned upon because of the reputation prescription addictions caused.

  
Once Joseph was in the room, he stared at the painting long and hard. He wanted to see what his son saw and was trying to say without having to sign or write his thoughts. The colours were vibrant, hinting to the hope that his son beheld every time he willingly came home for holiday. He used to paint vibrant storms, but lately there were more landscapes with vibrant skies and aggressive dragons. The only thing that could come to mid was that he was fighting the submissive behavior he used to exhibit. Joseph knew that Steve was coming into his own skin and proud of achievements.

  
He walked toward the easel and carefully removed the canvas. The work that had gone into the piece had taken all summer because Steve wanted it to be perfect. The piece was to be his high school magnus opus. He could not have been more proud of his son.

  
As he made his way to the car, most of the paintings had been rearranged. None of them had been in the same place that they were before. They now were displayed in the lounge and dining room, even in his study. The hallway was almost bare except for a self portrait Steve had painted in the style of his favourite painter, Vincent Van Gough. The brush strokes were still in Steven's style, but greatly enhanced by the impressionistic style. Joseph knew that once Steven was out of the house, he was going to be lonely on a level that only a parent could understand.

  
As he approached the kitchen, he noticed that Darcy was slightly tearful. He knew how she felt. Steve was no longer dependent upon others the way he used to be. He knew now that he could stand up for himself and help his mother to see that her way of thinking was not only archaic, but outside of reality.

  
“Darcy, please help me wrap this in an extra sheet. I know Steven will be angry if it gets damaged on the trip back to St. Joseph's,” Joseph asked. “Cheer up, he'll always come home when he needs food.”

  
Darcy laughed at that, she knew that it was Joseph's sense of humor was going to be the saving grace. It was the reason she stayed when Steve left for each semester at school. She only hoped that the appointment was not a disappointment. Surgery would mean that Steve was in the hospital with a small chance of catching up on his work. Shaking her head from her thoughts she silently agreed to help carefully wrap the future masterpiece with an extra sheet.

  
When they were finished wrapping the canvas, Darcy hid her face as she continued to shed tears. It was really true, the house was going to be bland like always. Steven was finally breaking free like he had always confided in her. His one wish may come true, but Darcy forgot to ask Steve if he had been accepted. She helped Joseph carry the canvas to the car and carefully place it on top of the trunk.

  
“Joseph, the appointment is in an hour. Hurry up,” Sarah commanded, in her usual monotone voice to start the day. Control, the one thing that she refused to let slip from her grasp.

  
“Sarah, I will not damage Steven's work because you think it is not worth the effort or care,” Joseph replied.

  
“It's always, the same. You two have conspired against me again,” She replied to herself, smiling lovingly at her husband. She looked in the mirror at Steve who was looking out the window disinterested with the ordeal. The sooner the appointment was over, it meant that he could be rid of his mother for the entire semester.

  
Joseph walked around to the front of the car and waived goodbye to Darcy. He opened his door and situated himself. He looked in the mirror, reached around to get Steve's attention.

  
“How are you feeling after your little episode on the stairs?,” He asked his son with great concern.

  
'Much better, it was more of a stutter. I hope he does not have switch my medication back,' Steve replied with frustration. 'I was happy for the lesser medication because the other makes me fall asleep.'

  
“The drowsiness is intended to help you relax,” Joseph replied. “I know how you feel about the step back, but the medication you have now does not seem to work. You just need to relax and see what Dr. Polanski says okay.”

  
'I always trust him, I just don't trust the medication,' Steve signed in reply with slight agitation to his movements.

  
Traffic proved uneventful and moving pretty smoothly. The office was not that far from St. Joseph's, thus the reason for having picked the doctor. He was also a specialist since Steven had been full of medical anomalies. As Steve grew, the doctor would go back to medical school to add to his repertoire. He wanted to be sure that he could help in any way because he was a general practitioner. Steven was a special case because of the circumstances of his birth.

  
The knock on the door disturbed his current thoughts, as the Rogers stepped into his office. It was not a normal visit because of the symptoms that Steven was currently exhibiting. He looked slightly stressed and currently agitated by his mother's current train of thought. It was always a losing battle with the poor woman. She just could not understand that the sensors and receptors in his brain had wired differently because of Steven's birth.

  
“Joseph, Sarah, it is a pleasure as always,” Dr. Polanski greeted professionally. His main concern was always his patient, but the family in general was a blessing. He turned to Steven and started to sign as he spoke. “How are you feeling today, Steven? Your father phoned me last night stating that you were overly stressed and needed another examination.”

  
'I have been feeling the irregular heartbeats more often,' Steve replied. 'I have been sleeping better. I am sorry, I am doing fine Dr. Polanski' Steve had the biggest smile he could muster at that moment. He really liked his doctor. He got to the point and did not underestimate any symptom. He understood and cared.

  
“Okay, it sounds like it could be a problem with the medication. The last we spoke, you were doing much better. It is a shame that the change in medication did not help the situation,” Dr. Polanski pondered, looking at Steve while signing at the same time. “What do you think? Should we try the old medication? I know you did not like it because it made you sleepy, but that is what it is supposed to do.”

  
'I don't want to, but anything is better than feeling pressure and the irregularities,' Steve replied with frustration. 'Am I clear to go to school now?'

  
“Hold on for a few more minutes,” Dr. Polanski replied with a chuckle. Steve was always anxious to leave. Being around doctors in general did leave Steve with great anxiety because of his weak heart. “I will write the prescription, but you let me listen to your heart. Do we have a deal?”

  
'Okay, we have a deal,' Steve replied with a huge smile. Dr. Polanski was the only doctor who could make Steve feel relaxed no matter what the agitation. They had known each other for a very long time. 'I just wanted to turn in my project. I finally finished my senior canvas.'

  
“I cannot wait to see the pictures of your exhibition,” Dr. Polanski replied while adjusting his stethoscope. He put the scope over the heart and listened carefully. Sometimes there would be a stutter but that is to be expected. Steve in general had anxiety when it came to doctors, having been around them his entire life. As he listened he did hear the pattern a little more often than he should have considering the wellness of their last visit. “I don't think it is anything to be worried about at the moment. We will try the old medication for now. I want to see you again in two weeks to see if the pattern can calm itself with the change.”

  
'Does this mean, I can come alone since I am eighteen now?,' Steve queried cautiously. He knew that his father would want to be there, but Steve did want to see if he could manage without his parents. He wanted to be responsible and not the broken doll that could be fixed. He turned to his father with pleading eyes as he signed his reason why. 'I do want you here, Dad. I just really want to prove that I can keep my own appointments.'

  
“I can't blame you,” Joseph replied to his son in speech and sign. “I was the same way at your age. I am proud that you want to do this.” He could not fault Steve for feeling this way. Sarah refused to listen to anyone, including his primary physician and general doctor.

  
“Now, Dr. Polanski, I was thinking that it was time to examine his ears again. I found a speech therapist willing to work with Steven,” Sarah interjected as always. “Steven has missing appointments on purpose and I would like for to talk to him about the importance of this.”

  
“Sarah,” Dr. Polanski began as gently as he could. “The receptors in Steve's brain are not receiving the signal that there is even a noise coming to his ear. It is more of the damage that happened when you gave birth to him.” He saw that she was about to say something accusatory about the direction of the conversation that he refused to have with her. “No one is saying that you're at fault. I am saying the MRI s and CT scans have proven that where the hearing activity should be, there is none. The lack of oxygen to the brain can do different things for different babies. Steven was the first and only reported case of hearing loss.”

  
“Okay, I guess we will have to get a second opinion -” Sarah began only to be interrupted by Joseph. The purpose of the visit for Steve's heart.

  
“Sarah, honey,” Joseph began sweetly, “Steven will miss his first day if we don't hurry up. Besides, I thought you wanted to make a trip to Long Island and do some shopping at Bergdorf Goodman?”

  
“I do need to make an appointment with a personal shopper,” Sarah mused aloud. “My apologies for the lack of tact, Dr. Polanski Thank you for your expertise as always. Joseph, I will wait in the lobby while the appointment is finished.”

  
As she left, they all stared at her, she never willingly left and conceded an argument. Steve just stared perplexed by the entire incident. It was a sign that things were looking better, but then again, she had brought up the speech therapist. They could only hope that she was slowly acknowledged truth the way everyone else did.

  
'How did you do that Dad?,' Steve asked awestruck at the lack of confrontation from his mother.

  
“I know what she likes and prefers over making a scene,” Joseph replied. “I will leave you two alone. Your mother needs convincing that we are not out to commit her.”

  
Steve felt a sense of accomplishment. His father was not letting him take charge of his appointments. He felt a little nervous, but still prideful at the same time. He still felt the shame permeate from his mother, but today it was tolerable. Only just one more hour and then he could start school.

'Okay Steven,' Dr. Polanski signed. Now that both parents were gone, there was no need for speech. 'Your heart sounded fine just now, but I do want you to start the old medication immediately.'

  
'Do I need to take it everyday or just when it feels out of control?,' Steve replied. 'I don't like it because I can't focus. The drowsiness made me hate it.'

  
'I know, but again, that is due to you needing to rest to calm down and help with the stress at that moment,' Dr. Polanski replied. 'It is only for when you really need it, though.'

  
'Okay,' Steve replied with a smile. He felt great about starting the new year. This was going to be the stepping stone to seeing if he could really manage without his parents. He only hoped that he could.

  
When he got inside the car, his father could see the smile on Steve's face. Knowing that the right thing had been done, the family made their way to St. Joseph's. They were going to miss one another, but knowing that it was for the best, they would be able to part ways without shedding tears.

  
The afternoon was dragging on at a snail's pace was the polite way to describe how Tony felt at that exact moment. He had finished all of his homework and could not think of anything else to entertain himself with. He had already checked his figures for his prototype design for an artificial intelligence. One that could evolve all on it's own. Still in the equation phase, Tony had made sure that the preliminary figures were exact.

  
Just when he was thinking about checking them for a fourth time, the door opened to a tired looking Bruce. The dark circles added to the slumping shoulders. Either he was getting sick or he was having trouble sleeping again.

  
“Long night again?,” Tony queried knowingly. The look on Bruce's face told him everything he needed to know. “I heard you talking in your sleep again.”

  
“It's nothing that I can't handle, but they're coming more frequently,” Bruce answered behind a giant yawn.

 

“Do you think that your cousin will Skype with you today?,” Tony asked with longing. Ever since yesterday, Tony could not get those baby blue eyes out of his mind. The hurt and longing that he saw from behind the horrible pixellation of the Skype chat. It was about that time again.

  
“I know what you're thinking right now, but I am too tired to make it last a long time,” Bruce replied to Tony's unasked question. “However, yes it is almost time for him to chat with me about his day. He started his last year of high school today.”

  
“Is he smart like you; or, is he just an art prodigy?,” Tony asked.

  
“Very funny, he is at the top of his class. He just happened to like sketching and expanded beyond it being a hobby,” Bruce replied, hoping that Tony would not question further. This should be coming from Steve or through interpretation. He just did not feel right disclosing information like this without Steve's knowledge.

  
“Are you hungry?,” Tony asked. “I know this great restaurant not too far from here.”

  
“Do they deliver?,” Bruce queried, answering Tony's question at the same time.

  
“You know, I never asked, but let me check,” Tony answered while dialling the number to the restaurant. Bruce took the time to start his homework. It was nice that Tony and Bruce shared the same hours for their classes.

  
While Bruce was attempting his work, he was still exhausted from lack of sleep, the chime on his Skype went off. He knew that it was the one person he preferred to talk to above everyone else, including Tony. They both understood him, but Steve was his adopted brother who knew how he ticked on the inside.

  
“How are doing Steve?” Bruce asked and signed at the same time, trying to stifle his yawn at the same time.

  
'You don't have to talk if you're tired.,' Steve replied.

  
“I see you're back at school by the change in your background,” Bruce stated avoiding the subject.

  
'Were you able to sleep last night?,' Steve queried with concern written all over his face.

  
“Same cause as usual, I was having nightmares,” Bruce answered, Steve was the one person who could get him to answer honestly. “Your issues don't help because I know your mother does not help with your stress. By the way, how was your doctor's appointment?”

  
'He changed the medication again. After what happened last night, Dad scheduled an emergency appointment. It was too make sure everything was okay. I am going to be fine, I just have to take my medication when I'm stressed,' Steve replied with a slight pout behind his smile.

  
“That's wonderful Steve,” Bruce commented.

  
Before they could continue, Tony walked back into Bruce's part of the dorm. He was stunned out of his thoughts due to the eyes he could not get out of his mind. They still held the sorrow, but Tony had an inkling of a notion that he was the only one to know. This was his chance to not only talk to him, but invite him to get the chance to know what he's like.

  
“Brucie-bear, you know better than to forget me,” Tony said with a smile.

  
“Steve, you remember my room mate, Tony,” Bruce informed. “We were just making plans for dinner.”

  
'I could always try again tomorrow,' Steve dejectedly.

  
“No, don't disconnect early,” Bruce commanded. “We're going to get this in, before we're both too busy to talk.”

  
'Okay, how is school going so far?,' Steve queried. He was glad that Bruce had insisted that he stay on and chat. Bruce's room mate was very handsome. Steve only hoped he was not put off by his inability to communicate like everyone else.

  
“School is what I had hoped it would be,” Bruce began remembering to speak and sign. “The classes right now are not too bad. I find myself fascinated by the double major they're allowing me to do.”

  
'Double major? When we visited one another before you left, I thought you were just going for chemistry,' Steve replied.

  
“I am so sorry, Steve. I forgot to tell you that I changed my mind. I decided to pursue a double major,” Bruce explained. Tony always found this part of their conversation just a little boring. If were not for those eyes glancing between Bruce and himself, he would have given up when they started their chat. “Tony here has told me he wants to learn sign language.”

  
That made Steve laugh and that was how Tony fell in love. It was getting a little better, but still needed use. It was deep and rich, almost sounding like it did not belong with him. The age behind it did not match the youth on screen. However, when Steve finished, the look on his face made Tony all the more confident in his choice.

  
'Not many people find this interesting,' Steve began. 'I would love to help when I can, but I may have to Skype only once a week. School started back up and my teachers are determined to make it that hardest one yet. I thought Senior year was supposed to be like a bird course.'

  
They spent the entire afternoon exchanging questions and getting to know one another. Tony sat and listened to Bruce ask his questions and interpret. Tony found himself looking up different references that would make communicating with Steve easier for everyone. It still amazed Tony that he was not bored by the subjects or the conversation in the first place.

  
Tony almost found himself asking Bruce if he could ask Steve to talk about his heart problems. He could not explain why he left the subject alone. Steve did look less stressed and more at ease, a sign that school was not tough on him. Tony made sure to remember to ask because it was just one more thing they had in common.

  
Steve was enchanted by Tony's eyes, expressive pools of mocha. Steve knew, as did Tony, that there was a deeper pain that no one could understand. They both knew that there was something about the other. Eyes are the windows to the soul, they will tell anyone what they want to know about a person. Both Tony and Steve knew how read a person from looking at the eyes. The questions would come, but the time had to be just right.

  
“Well,” Bruce began begrudgingly, “I do hate to cut it off, but homework does not work by itself.”

  
“Bruce, now would be a good time to tell him,” Tony nudged.

  
'Tell me what,' Steve commented.

  
“Tony has a house in up-state New York that his family owns and invited me to come for Christmas,” Bruce stated and the look on Steve's face almost broke his heart. “He wants to know if you would like to come with us. It is only August right now, but this gives you time to plan.”

  
'He really won't mind if I come with you guys?,' Steve hazarded carefully, afraid that he was treading on thin ice. 'I know Dad will not mind, but you know mother hates it when I ignore the family.'

  
“You and I both know that you need to get away from them. Please come with us,” Bruce encouraged. The opportunity was too good for Bruce to let it go. Steve never thought of himself and he knew that Steve would listen to him.

  
'Okay,' Steve replied. 'I do need to get away, mother nearly stressed me out last night after dinner.'

  
“Good,” Tony and Bruce both stated together. They knew that it was going to be fun. This left both of them with time to plan the trip and break activities. At the top of the list was Tony learning sign so that they could communicate without tiring Bruce with interpretation.

  
Steve was able to disconnect in the best mood he had been in all day. His doctor was okay with private visits now. His mother was nowhere to be found and tomorrow he could start his classes with a clear conscience. His painting sat at the end of the bed. The stress of the day had caught up with him and he figured he would sleep more peacefully than he had all summer.


End file.
